The last few weeks I’ve created a morning routine for myself that I must get through before I’m allowed to pick up my phone - and oh how it’s made a world of difference. I used to be a scroll-in-bed-to-wake-up type of person and I just found by the time I actually left bed, I felt flat and unmotivated. Now I do simple little things like wash my face, make a hot drink, write 3 morning pages and get dressed - and I feel so good each time. Protecting my creativity by coaxing it to the surface early each morning has been very rewarding so I hope to keep this little ritual in place for the foreseeable future.
Caitlin, I have another friend who does this--refused to look at her phone/email first thing. It's such a great practice, which I have not yet managed despite all my other efforts. I usually check email, *then* turn off the internet/block it, etc. I love that you are able to do this. I should probably try this method myself! Thank you for stopping by to share this.
At some point during the pandemic I realized that my pandemic-developed, first thing in the morning habit of reading the New York Times to see the unique ways the world had fallen apart overnight was akin to inviting 12 (or insert number of articles read) loud strangers into my living room with me to talk about hard things they’d experienced, all at once. As an introvert, this visual was a nightmare. These days I sit in my lovely calm space with a cup of coffee and the cat and read (books) quietly. The realization didn’t solve the internet or social media for me, but it went along way helping me manage their affect on my actual quality of life.
Eden, thank you for sharing this. I hear you about the NYTimes (I do this too). I think it's interesting how intentional we need to be now--and how hard it is to be so very intensional--to protect our time, our mornings, our mental health. It feels like this ongoing battle. The easiest thing is to train our brains to no longer want/need it. Though, easy it isn't!
Twitter was my downfall. I finally realized that my anxiety, depression, feelings of doom came from scrolling all the health and political tweets. Good gosh, even AIR causes illness, if you believe them. I compared it on my substack to thousands of wriggling worms in a bait shop instead of spread out in their normal acre of land. And YouTube now does the same thing - shouty, scary titles in your personally designed fear algorithm just for you! Currently reading all of Deanna Raybourn' s mysteries. Much more fun. I'm going to John Galt the rest of it as best I can. Aside - what is the Freedom lock?
Wow, your description of Twitter!!! It is all so difficult to navigate and maintain.
Freedom is an app that locks the Internet for a set timeframe--you decide how long. I use it constantly. I'm on a break from it right now! I'm about to reset it. Check it out: https://freedom.to/dashboard
Thank you! It is, indeed, unfortunate that fear is a greater motivator than love - the advertisers know we'll click on a THREAT word rather than a calming one. Altruism for the human condition doesn't exist in clickbait land.
I recently started reading a book called Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Right Now by Jaron Lanier; I ended up stopping MOSTLY because I thought he'd convinced me to do it. And then a week went by, and another, and I didn't actually delete anything, and now I'm back to scrolling the sites that suck up my time (especially Instagram and TikTok) and I always feel defeated when I notice how much time I lost. So glad I finally read your post this afternoon. This might be my battle for 2024 as well...
Donna, this is music to my ears. I’m going to writing some stacks around this topic in my Bespoke Brains newsletter, would it be OK if I share your piece in those upcoming posts?
Amanda, so glad this resonated--and of course it's okay to share! I love that you have a newsletter called Bespoke Brains. I am going to go check it out.
Can relate so much with this article. My reading has suffered so much. Even when I read, I get distracted and go to scroll some random stuff. This year I have promised myself to read more and get some discipline in my life.
It's changed my experience of reading too. I have to be so disciplined now, in a way that I didn't used to, and it makes me sad that somehow this is the world we've created for ourselves! I wish it wasn't quite so exacting--this effort to keep ourselves off screens.
This is all so true - once on the internet and social media I get pulled down all kinds of rabbit holes! I tried my best to come off social media for January and managed about two weeks but then I had to do some posting for business and have slowly got sucked back in. Ironically Substack has become my go to distraction in the morning - in many ways the content can be much more useful and inspirational - but I need to ditch the internet and get back to a more creative start to the day! (i.e. bed tea, meditation, reading and 10 minutes of yoga!)
I have worked really hard to not let Substack become this way, myself! Every single thing online is challenging in this way, so I hear you. One of the things I've done is *only* allowed myself to read the substack pieces that come into my email box--I never scroll around on it randomly. But I go up and down too, being very strict and then falling off the internet wagon, so to speak. :) It's easiest when I'm working on a book because I have something specific I need to get done and a deadline. Good luck as you try to wean yourself back off! I'm with you.
I needed to read this today! I feel all of this so much. I’m always shocked how quickly my habits disappear as soon as I redownload an app. I admire the people who can use social media in a positive good way but for me I just get stuck scrolling reels of celebrities that make me mad but I can’t look away!
It’s also incredibly how when I wake up the morning after staying up too late at night scrolling I feel sluggish and dirty. Whereas if I stayed up too late reading a good novel I wake up tired but inspired.
I’m between novels right now and you have reminded me I need to pick a new one up today.
Well, I'm always glad to inspire people to read a new novel! But that's interesting how you feel after scrolling late into the night. I feel this way actually, or something similar, after I let myself go down a rabbit hole of scrolling and clicking in an unrestrained way--really at any time of day that I do it. I feel bad about myself after, almost dazed or something, like I left a bit of my mind behind on the screen and now have to work to recover it. This is why I am always blocking the internet--I really don't like how it makes me feel to do these things!
Yeah, it’s like my mind becomes grubby. I don’t like myself for being so unrestrained, for letting two minutes turn into twenty so quickly. I’ve read stolen focus and I know it’s not my fault but still, I can’t control myself that’s why I have things deleted and only go on every well or two when I need to check or share something.
Oof, hard relate! I have similarly found myself in a pattern of scrolling random sites after scaling way back on social media, and it's draining but also frustrating. The temptation is EVERYWHERE and it takes away so much bandwidth that could go into creating. Thanks so much for sharing!
I know. It's so hard to get out of this cycle. I really have to be so strict with myself, and even use timers (like: I'll do this for 15 minutes, and actually have an alarm go off when it's time for me to stop).
Agreed! I took off 10 days from all things digital over the holidays and my gosh did I feel better. I’ve managed to (finally) break my very bad news habit but have started picking up my phone more. 😵💫
The last few weeks I’ve created a morning routine for myself that I must get through before I’m allowed to pick up my phone - and oh how it’s made a world of difference. I used to be a scroll-in-bed-to-wake-up type of person and I just found by the time I actually left bed, I felt flat and unmotivated. Now I do simple little things like wash my face, make a hot drink, write 3 morning pages and get dressed - and I feel so good each time. Protecting my creativity by coaxing it to the surface early each morning has been very rewarding so I hope to keep this little ritual in place for the foreseeable future.
Caitlin, I have another friend who does this--refused to look at her phone/email first thing. It's such a great practice, which I have not yet managed despite all my other efforts. I usually check email, *then* turn off the internet/block it, etc. I love that you are able to do this. I should probably try this method myself! Thank you for stopping by to share this.
At some point during the pandemic I realized that my pandemic-developed, first thing in the morning habit of reading the New York Times to see the unique ways the world had fallen apart overnight was akin to inviting 12 (or insert number of articles read) loud strangers into my living room with me to talk about hard things they’d experienced, all at once. As an introvert, this visual was a nightmare. These days I sit in my lovely calm space with a cup of coffee and the cat and read (books) quietly. The realization didn’t solve the internet or social media for me, but it went along way helping me manage their affect on my actual quality of life.
Eden, thank you for sharing this. I hear you about the NYTimes (I do this too). I think it's interesting how intentional we need to be now--and how hard it is to be so very intensional--to protect our time, our mornings, our mental health. It feels like this ongoing battle. The easiest thing is to train our brains to no longer want/need it. Though, easy it isn't!
I always maintain an attitude in the creative space of "if it doesn't incite joy, why am I doing it?". Great reflection by yourself.
Thank you for writing and sharing this! No reply needed. Just know that I really appreciated reading and processing this <3
So glad.
Ugh, such a great reminder. Is this one sharable or for paid subscribers only? I want to put it in my newsletter!
It's a free one, so feel free to share, Amy! I'd be honored. :)
xoxo
Twitter was my downfall. I finally realized that my anxiety, depression, feelings of doom came from scrolling all the health and political tweets. Good gosh, even AIR causes illness, if you believe them. I compared it on my substack to thousands of wriggling worms in a bait shop instead of spread out in their normal acre of land. And YouTube now does the same thing - shouty, scary titles in your personally designed fear algorithm just for you! Currently reading all of Deanna Raybourn' s mysteries. Much more fun. I'm going to John Galt the rest of it as best I can. Aside - what is the Freedom lock?
Wow, your description of Twitter!!! It is all so difficult to navigate and maintain.
Freedom is an app that locks the Internet for a set timeframe--you decide how long. I use it constantly. I'm on a break from it right now! I'm about to reset it. Check it out: https://freedom.to/dashboard
Thank you! It is, indeed, unfortunate that fear is a greater motivator than love - the advertisers know we'll click on a THREAT word rather than a calming one. Altruism for the human condition doesn't exist in clickbait land.
I recently started reading a book called Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Right Now by Jaron Lanier; I ended up stopping MOSTLY because I thought he'd convinced me to do it. And then a week went by, and another, and I didn't actually delete anything, and now I'm back to scrolling the sites that suck up my time (especially Instagram and TikTok) and I always feel defeated when I notice how much time I lost. So glad I finally read your post this afternoon. This might be my battle for 2024 as well...
Omg, Caitlin. I love that there's a book called this!
And just promise you'll never delete WhatsApp!
WhatsApp isn't social media, it's my Donna Podcast!!
Lol. It's my kind of social media. :)
Donna, this is music to my ears. I’m going to writing some stacks around this topic in my Bespoke Brains newsletter, would it be OK if I share your piece in those upcoming posts?
Amanda, so glad this resonated--and of course it's okay to share! I love that you have a newsletter called Bespoke Brains. I am going to go check it out.
Can relate so much with this article. My reading has suffered so much. Even when I read, I get distracted and go to scroll some random stuff. This year I have promised myself to read more and get some discipline in my life.
It's changed my experience of reading too. I have to be so disciplined now, in a way that I didn't used to, and it makes me sad that somehow this is the world we've created for ourselves! I wish it wasn't quite so exacting--this effort to keep ourselves off screens.
This is all so true - once on the internet and social media I get pulled down all kinds of rabbit holes! I tried my best to come off social media for January and managed about two weeks but then I had to do some posting for business and have slowly got sucked back in. Ironically Substack has become my go to distraction in the morning - in many ways the content can be much more useful and inspirational - but I need to ditch the internet and get back to a more creative start to the day! (i.e. bed tea, meditation, reading and 10 minutes of yoga!)
I have worked really hard to not let Substack become this way, myself! Every single thing online is challenging in this way, so I hear you. One of the things I've done is *only* allowed myself to read the substack pieces that come into my email box--I never scroll around on it randomly. But I go up and down too, being very strict and then falling off the internet wagon, so to speak. :) It's easiest when I'm working on a book because I have something specific I need to get done and a deadline. Good luck as you try to wean yourself back off! I'm with you.
I needed to read this today! I feel all of this so much. I’m always shocked how quickly my habits disappear as soon as I redownload an app. I admire the people who can use social media in a positive good way but for me I just get stuck scrolling reels of celebrities that make me mad but I can’t look away!
It’s also incredibly how when I wake up the morning after staying up too late at night scrolling I feel sluggish and dirty. Whereas if I stayed up too late reading a good novel I wake up tired but inspired.
I’m between novels right now and you have reminded me I need to pick a new one up today.
Well, I'm always glad to inspire people to read a new novel! But that's interesting how you feel after scrolling late into the night. I feel this way actually, or something similar, after I let myself go down a rabbit hole of scrolling and clicking in an unrestrained way--really at any time of day that I do it. I feel bad about myself after, almost dazed or something, like I left a bit of my mind behind on the screen and now have to work to recover it. This is why I am always blocking the internet--I really don't like how it makes me feel to do these things!
Yeah, it’s like my mind becomes grubby. I don’t like myself for being so unrestrained, for letting two minutes turn into twenty so quickly. I’ve read stolen focus and I know it’s not my fault but still, I can’t control myself that’s why I have things deleted and only go on every well or two when I need to check or share something.
Thank you for this honesty. I feel it too--this stress about being "unrestrained." That's a good way to put it.
Oof, hard relate! I have similarly found myself in a pattern of scrolling random sites after scaling way back on social media, and it's draining but also frustrating. The temptation is EVERYWHERE and it takes away so much bandwidth that could go into creating. Thanks so much for sharing!
I know. It's so hard to get out of this cycle. I really have to be so strict with myself, and even use timers (like: I'll do this for 15 minutes, and actually have an alarm go off when it's time for me to stop).
With you 1000000 million %
Thanks, Jennifer. It's nice to know the struggle is shared. Though I wish there wasn't a struggle for all of us in the first place!
Agreed! I took off 10 days from all things digital over the holidays and my gosh did I feel better. I’ve managed to (finally) break my very bad news habit but have started picking up my phone more. 😵💫