A piece where I do some serious soul searching about Instagram and am brutally honest about how difficult a time I have when I go on it. (Plus, an October event announcement.)
First, I am so sorry about the loss of your father. That he died unexpectedly is especially hard (I speak from experience). Secondly, OMFG: YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE. in your view of social media and the brain/soul-suck that it has become to many humans in general and authors/artists/creatives in particular. Thank you for this piece.
Lisa, sorry for the tardy reply--I'm at a residency. And thank you so much for this generous comment and for saying that. I'm so glad this piece resonated with you!
Hello! I'm so sorry for your loss; I can't start to imagine what you've been through.
I know I'm a bit late to this post, but I just found it randomly, and I wanted to leave here a thank you message. I really felt what you wrote, and on top of that, I want to let you know that you're not alone. :)
I discovered my love for writing a few years ago (6 or 7 years, maybe?), although I consider myself a storyteller since I can talk. But there are two things I know for sure: 1) I too feel anxious when on social media promoting my book or my lifestyle or whatever, and 2) that I'm not suited for that pressure. And you know what? I don't have to be. Or rather, we shouldn't have to be. And knowing that there are people out there feeling the same way as I am brings me some kind of joy. So, thank you! :)
You are not alone! My relationship with social media is like the toxic on again off again on again boyfriend you have in high school. I hate it, I appreciate, it gets me down, it keeps me informed. I’m in need of a Pause and Delete App Era to reset.
Re: Bookstagram specifically, I love it for recommendations but now I feel burdened with how many books I want to read and sometimes sad that I won’t ever be able to read all the books ever!
(Hit the bike button on my phone too soon!). I also wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about your father. Feel proud of yourself for finding your boundaries and what you truly needed in that moment, and prioritizing that💪🏼💕
Cori, thank you for the condolences about my dad. And yes, re the analogy about the off and on boyfriend! It's very true. And btw, I finished Fourth Wing!! See you on Thursday.
Very much agree! I think social media and the marketing strategies used are mostly manipulative and just feel yucky. Personally, I believe the only people that benefit are the people who own the sites, the rest of us get sucked of our time and self esteem.
Also, there is a sneaking suspician from folks (Amelia Hruby has some great things to say about this) that Substack is slowly morphing it's way towards being a lot like IG or any other social platform with it's introduction of Substack chats (which I find distracting and exhausting). Amelia has a podcast called Off the Grid and talks about it in her usual badass way. I think you'd appreciate her take on it. Anyhoo, happy Sunday! Loved reading this one!
Yes, I worry about this myself actually. The chats business, and the notes! Neither of which I have figured out to use nor have I tried really. And likely will not. And so glad you enjoyed this, Sarah.
HARD AGREE! Love this. And so sorry about your dad ❤️ During lockdown, I got very into Bookstagramming and GoodReads. It was a very performative approach to reading, I now realise, that I shook off in late 2021 when I was pregnant and (...I can laugh at this now!) didn’t want to fill my GoodReads account with baby books. Ha! Having no way of “keeping up with what the Jones’ were reading” amidst the sleepless nights and nappies, I simply stopped trying. I now read just for me again, and that’s the way I like it. No pressure to buy the latest It Book, no pressure to gobble up 100 books a year in the spirit of a “target”, and no sanctimonious posts of my perfectly colour coordinated bookshelf, because I gave most of them away to make space for baby stuff!
Lauren, thank you, re my dad, and congratulations, re, the baby. And lol, re, why you got off Goodreads! I'm glad to know that I am not alone in feeling this way--seriously. I don't want to perform I just...want to read what I read and write what I write and connect with interesting people, but not because I performed to their expectations. :)
Thank you, Donna, for having the courage to speak about the “Holy Grail” that many of us loathe but are afraid of quitting. As an independently published author, I worry even more about not being active on SM. I moved my (still free) reader newsletter over here to Substack and then realized that I have so much more to say. As you mentioned, in a few short months I’ve had more meaningful conversations and discovered substantial people I relate to, than I ever did on SM. As with grieving your dad (I’m so sorry!) I’m grieving my husband who has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Even after getting slammed with this, I feel guilty about not showing up on IG or FB. There’s something totally wrong with that picture!
Dear K. R., first, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband, and thank you, re, my dad. I'll tell you what I've told myself about posting through this time in my life: you don't owe anybody anything related to your grief. Period. I know that is true, even though with social media it can seem hard to believe. I'm so glad that you're enjoying Substack and that you stopped by to mine. The best part of being online at all is meeting and hearing from other authors. Hang in there.
I came over and subscribed after your piece on The Hyphen. Social media is a time suck that makes me feel like I’ll never have any success as a writer, so I agree with you on all fronts. But I find myself unable to quit. Not being on it feels like I’m accepting defeat!
Have you written about not having a smart phone? I have been thinking about getting rid of mine for years!
Laura, thank you for subscribing, and I'm find it hard to quite IG too, even though I hate it! I worry about the repercussions to my writing career. (Even though I never go on it, and almost never post.) I have written a bit about not having a smartphone--and I thought I'd do a whole piece on it here at some point. (It's on my long list of articles I want to write for this substack!). And here's what I'd say: take the plunge! I love life without a smartphone. It's great.
Yup, with ya on all of this. Deep sigh. But also, I found you on IG, and I love your work and am so grateful I did find you even if it was in this squirrely place (note, I loathe squirrels). What do we do?????
Sarah, thank you for saying you love my work, and I know--so many people are on IG you can find them there. I'm not sure what we do? But I'm doing this (substack) because in just 2 months I've had more meaningful interactions here, and I've been able to write what I believe and care about, than anything I ever did on Instagram.
First, I am so sorry about the loss of your father. That he died unexpectedly is especially hard (I speak from experience). Secondly, OMFG: YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE. in your view of social media and the brain/soul-suck that it has become to many humans in general and authors/artists/creatives in particular. Thank you for this piece.
Lisa, sorry for the tardy reply--I'm at a residency. And thank you so much for this generous comment and for saying that. I'm so glad this piece resonated with you!
Hello! I'm so sorry for your loss; I can't start to imagine what you've been through.
I know I'm a bit late to this post, but I just found it randomly, and I wanted to leave here a thank you message. I really felt what you wrote, and on top of that, I want to let you know that you're not alone. :)
I discovered my love for writing a few years ago (6 or 7 years, maybe?), although I consider myself a storyteller since I can talk. But there are two things I know for sure: 1) I too feel anxious when on social media promoting my book or my lifestyle or whatever, and 2) that I'm not suited for that pressure. And you know what? I don't have to be. Or rather, we shouldn't have to be. And knowing that there are people out there feeling the same way as I am brings me some kind of joy. So, thank you! :)
Totally agreed--and thank you for stopping by!
You are not alone! My relationship with social media is like the toxic on again off again on again boyfriend you have in high school. I hate it, I appreciate, it gets me down, it keeps me informed. I’m in need of a Pause and Delete App Era to reset.
Re: Bookstagram specifically, I love it for recommendations but now I feel burdened with how many books I want to read and sometimes sad that I won’t ever be able to read all the books ever!
Again, nuanced, mixed feelings lol
(Hit the bike button on my phone too soon!). I also wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about your father. Feel proud of yourself for finding your boundaries and what you truly needed in that moment, and prioritizing that💪🏼💕
Cori, thank you for the condolences about my dad. And yes, re the analogy about the off and on boyfriend! It's very true. And btw, I finished Fourth Wing!! See you on Thursday.
Very much agree! I think social media and the marketing strategies used are mostly manipulative and just feel yucky. Personally, I believe the only people that benefit are the people who own the sites, the rest of us get sucked of our time and self esteem.
Ps I LOVE that you don’t have a smart phone! Wow!
yes, Cheryl, I've never had one! I love not having one. Thanks for reading, as always. xoxo
💯 % to all this. Just: Yes!
Also, there is a sneaking suspician from folks (Amelia Hruby has some great things to say about this) that Substack is slowly morphing it's way towards being a lot like IG or any other social platform with it's introduction of Substack chats (which I find distracting and exhausting). Amelia has a podcast called Off the Grid and talks about it in her usual badass way. I think you'd appreciate her take on it. Anyhoo, happy Sunday! Loved reading this one!
Yes, I worry about this myself actually. The chats business, and the notes! Neither of which I have figured out to use nor have I tried really. And likely will not. And so glad you enjoyed this, Sarah.
HARD AGREE! Love this. And so sorry about your dad ❤️ During lockdown, I got very into Bookstagramming and GoodReads. It was a very performative approach to reading, I now realise, that I shook off in late 2021 when I was pregnant and (...I can laugh at this now!) didn’t want to fill my GoodReads account with baby books. Ha! Having no way of “keeping up with what the Jones’ were reading” amidst the sleepless nights and nappies, I simply stopped trying. I now read just for me again, and that’s the way I like it. No pressure to buy the latest It Book, no pressure to gobble up 100 books a year in the spirit of a “target”, and no sanctimonious posts of my perfectly colour coordinated bookshelf, because I gave most of them away to make space for baby stuff!
Lauren, thank you, re my dad, and congratulations, re, the baby. And lol, re, why you got off Goodreads! I'm glad to know that I am not alone in feeling this way--seriously. I don't want to perform I just...want to read what I read and write what I write and connect with interesting people, but not because I performed to their expectations. :)
Thank you, Donna, for having the courage to speak about the “Holy Grail” that many of us loathe but are afraid of quitting. As an independently published author, I worry even more about not being active on SM. I moved my (still free) reader newsletter over here to Substack and then realized that I have so much more to say. As you mentioned, in a few short months I’ve had more meaningful conversations and discovered substantial people I relate to, than I ever did on SM. As with grieving your dad (I’m so sorry!) I’m grieving my husband who has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Even after getting slammed with this, I feel guilty about not showing up on IG or FB. There’s something totally wrong with that picture!
Dear K. R., first, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband, and thank you, re, my dad. I'll tell you what I've told myself about posting through this time in my life: you don't owe anybody anything related to your grief. Period. I know that is true, even though with social media it can seem hard to believe. I'm so glad that you're enjoying Substack and that you stopped by to mine. The best part of being online at all is meeting and hearing from other authors. Hang in there.
I came over and subscribed after your piece on The Hyphen. Social media is a time suck that makes me feel like I’ll never have any success as a writer, so I agree with you on all fronts. But I find myself unable to quit. Not being on it feels like I’m accepting defeat!
Have you written about not having a smart phone? I have been thinking about getting rid of mine for years!
Laura, thank you for subscribing, and I'm find it hard to quite IG too, even though I hate it! I worry about the repercussions to my writing career. (Even though I never go on it, and almost never post.) I have written a bit about not having a smartphone--and I thought I'd do a whole piece on it here at some point. (It's on my long list of articles I want to write for this substack!). And here's what I'd say: take the plunge! I love life without a smartphone. It's great.
Yup, with ya on all of this. Deep sigh. But also, I found you on IG, and I love your work and am so grateful I did find you even if it was in this squirrely place (note, I loathe squirrels). What do we do?????
Sarah, thank you for saying you love my work, and I know--so many people are on IG you can find them there. I'm not sure what we do? But I'm doing this (substack) because in just 2 months I've had more meaningful interactions here, and I've been able to write what I believe and care about, than anything I ever did on Instagram.